difficulty

im sad. im troubled. im having difficulties voicing out.

jus when i thought im ready to open up, i cant seem to reach u.

so disappointed.

it has been happening again and again. alcohol really does wonder. shall not comment on wad really happened last nite. but was supposed to be a 'farewell' party for a soon-to-depart attachment student from indo, and also a party for the enlisting Kelvin. but wad a way to end everything, i left SGH at 6.30am.

was totally turned off by events which i think, was totally unnecessary. things are fine now (i certainly hope IT IS FINE) but no one can guarantee its not gonna happen again. afterall, while the 2 years (i think around) i've been working in bg, the day i started to hang out with them, it has been happening. happens to me b4, wont deny. but jus don understand, why is there ppl who knows this isnt gonna solve the prob, yet they jus so willingly fall into that trap. i seriously hope they'd think about it. we, as a group, decides to hang out for a 'party'. a fun nite out, but stupid things done by ppl who doesnt THINK at all, who jus simply cant give a damn shiet about themselves, spoils everything. sick and tired of all these, so much so that i wasnt planning to turn up at all, till hwa ee convinced me to. (im not pushing blame on hwa ee) as i din wanna drink and cant drink (because im driving) i wasnt totally convinced that i shld turn up. hwa ee assured me she wasnt drinking and said that she'd be alone singing there so asked me to accompany her. but, about an hour or so after i arrived, wad a turn of events. i start seeing things which i swear i nv wanna see again. i knew if i were to keep myself out of the things im tired of, i nid to jus get out of there. but jus couldnt do it. i don wanna spoil everybody's mood. stayed on, and the rest is history. don wanna talk about it. the moment i think about it, i feel pissed, yet i feel sorry. i donno. jus kind of like, really TURNED OFF.

anyway, couldnt catch much slp as i reached home at 7am. took a nap instead till around 10am be4 i headed to gombak. thought because of the rain overnite, there wouldnt be any soccer till chris sms me. went down as usual.

now, jus waiting for girl's call. ready to go out.

transformer

finally booked the transformer tickets. think i'll be catching the last few screenings. will be watching it on sunday. -.-"!

hasnt been in the best of health lately. not gonna push blame but part of the reason is the building of a lift jus outside my corridor. i believe. add that to my already weak body, im kinda suffering -.-"

woke up automatically at 6.45am today. haha. must have gotten used to waking up at this time to send girl to work. but in less than 2 months time, i shld be waking up to do 'exercise' =/ suddenly feel army life isnt smth im looking forward to anymore.

each time im out with u, i seem to be always pushed to the back. and sometimes when i lead the way, u seem to be way back behind me. only when im holding ur hand, den i know no matter who's in front, ur presence is jus around me.

bless me.

watched harry potter. treated ps to azabu sabo for her bday. suffered from flu and cough. bought a bottle a perfume. or shld i say someone gave me a bottle of perfume. those are the few highlights this few days.
wasnt a bad show. harry has definitely grown up. lol. hmm. azabu's food isnt that bad. and i got myself a bottle of hugo boss perfume. she gave it to me as an advanced bday present. soooooo happy. but den comes the suffering part. got flu and cough. and a slight fever as well. the fever went down quickly but the flu was as bad as a running tap. and till now, im still coughing. definitely had difficulty serving guests esp when i was taking orders. occasionally, i nid to turn my head away. so it was kinda awkward and also worried that they might be mistaken im being rude or smth. zZ.
mayb i shld stop being so mad about modifying my car. lolz. bless me.

ouch!

ok. this is a damn dumb thing to talk about. i hurt my knee while i was sitting down. (everyone must be wondering how to hurt knee when sitting down?!) but i jus did it. and in 'spectacular' fashion. we humans tend to haf this 'strange' feeling of ur limbs moving automatically for like a split second. i donno why my knee jus moved in that split second and i hit it straight at the under table metal thing. it went str to the knee. was left 'limping' after that and now, i couldnt really walk the stairs properly. even i myself find it dumb. -.-
today was really stoning while working. was damn stone and almost couldnt manage. luckily, there was a 12 pax reservation cancelled or else i think i'd struggle like mad.

met my sec sch class ppl for dinner yest. crystal jade at jp, and den fried oyster at my parents' stall. followed by drinks at west coast mac. kinda rare to see almost all turning up(which includes stan, who'll be flying back to aussie tml). laughing over stupid things we did in sec sch and chatting over the things we're all doing. got home at 3am and dam, i was definitely missing someone. got that urge to call her but i gave myself a slap on the face (ok, thats jus describing, i did not really do it) was like thinking 'hey, call now at 3am?! u must be mad man. later she sure scold u like mad!' so instead i jus left her a msg.

5.25pm. going to prepare now and move on to NOL building to help flower the plants.

i tot i had pms.

ok. do not laugh at me. for that instance, i tot i had pms. but i was bleeding kinda badly from the ass. smth's wrong with my health this few days. had gastric, and now this.

had earlier went down to the carpark opp beauty world to deal. bought an alutec front strut bar. gonna get it fix in the nxt few days when im free. looking forward to sensing the effect of having a front strut bar.

unfortunately, the oysters couldnt make it on time. cinderella was aslp by then. and he ate his '1st meal' of the day after delivery.

nites all.

el nino

when will el nino ever be with his cinderella?

el nino is 'The Kid' in spanish. i think. am i referring to myself? yes i think so. =/
going back to bg in awhile. den will bring my family to eat as they rarely have this 'off' due to the changing of gas pipe at the market. gotta run.

pck

ah. im suffering from monday blues? (is that how u all spell it?) while at work today. worked lunch today and expected it to be slow. ok, at least the 2nd lvl wasnt open but was kinda shock when i realised the 2nd guest to come through the bg door was Mr PCK!
ok, he is a very funny guy i'd say because the other 3 ppl who came tgt with him, was like laughing most of the time. but one thing is, i do think he doesnt put on airs. which i find it gd because some of the ppl i served, has this 'i am diff from u, back off' kind of attitude.
4get abt it. but mr pck's appearance adds on to the list of celebrities that has been to bg. among them includes:
-Mr PCK (u know who)
-JJ Lin (non other than the guy who mesmerizes tons of girls with his voice)
-Irin Gan (she seems to be here occasionally)
-Guo MeiMei (she looks kinda shy when she was here)
cant really recall who else did i served b4 but there are others who were here on days i wasnt working or when i havent even started working.
-5566
-Cyndi
-Joi Chua
-David Tao
i must say what shocked me the most was definitely David Tao. kenneth said he got to serve him! but in any case, why isnt S.H.E here? i'd love to get the chance to serve them their dinner. =/
ok, so tired. time for bed.

enthusiastic

ah. been working this few days and running around (as usual). jus came back from my weekly soccer game. tired like mad.
DIY-ed the car's front grill. do look at my msn pic for that. =)
waiting to meet up with ben's fren and put the sticker up the windscreen.

will be going out for dinner later on with yc. and still asking if ben and bt will be coming along. for now, its time for a nap.